There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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