am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i barfeds in our rink
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
