oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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