How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
