the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
