Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
