Please, let me fuck your mom
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
