So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The power of my boobs compel you
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
