the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
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