Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I need moral support for this bender
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
