Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
