just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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