Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
