Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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