direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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