We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
