so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
