I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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