It's Friday. Sex?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need to sanitize my soul.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
