im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
