I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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