Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
