Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
