TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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