Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
