I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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