how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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