She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
