If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
