he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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