Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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