like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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