can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
this will be a night to untag.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
