you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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