She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She's not a foreskin expert like you
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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