I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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