I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize