i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
