Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
