I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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