Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
