another moral hangover. fuck.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
