so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Someone shattered a urinal.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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