sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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