I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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