One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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