I got chris browned last night
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
