There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
