She said her name was "party"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The air was thick with penises
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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