If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
