What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
