in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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