did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Its about making memories worth repressing
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
