well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
