Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...