dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.