Texts From Last Night

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  (863): View more from Florida

  haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people

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  (863): haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people http://tfl.nu/1coi
  Replies (52) Good night (1664) Bad night (1405)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."

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  (718): Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom." http://tfl.nu/h2e6
  Replies (17) Good night (4769) Bad night (1422)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.

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  (970): you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake. http://tfl.nu/y1g9
  Replies (18) Good night (1024) Bad night (4506)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list

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  (301): This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list http://tfl.nu/qiye
  Replies (14) Good night (4450) Bad night (949)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica

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  (860): Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica http://tfl.nu/womi
  Replies (10) Good night (4661) Bad night (1426)
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  (716): View more from New York

  right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable

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  (716): right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable http://tfl.nu/dvma
  Replies (14) Good night (6100) Bad night (1061)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.

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  (256): Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation. http://tfl.nu/su8c
  Replies (11) Good night (3348) Bad night (993)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.

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  (902): i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall. http://tfl.nu/6zaz
  Replies (7) Good night (985) Bad night (3501)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!

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  (435): he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?! http://tfl.nu/3uuq
  Replies (19) Good night (1300) Bad night (3692)
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  (707): View more from California

  come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.

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  (707): come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/6h34
  Replies (17) Good night (2070) Bad night (2523)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.

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  (309): Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash. http://tfl.nu/otoe
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (1338)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward

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  (908): he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward http://tfl.nu/i7kv
  Replies (4) Good night (1465) Bad night (653)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...

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  (423): Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple... http://tfl.nu/apqw
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (305)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  "I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.

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  (440): "I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth. http://tfl.nu/p4vu
  Replies (5) Good night (363) Bad night (667)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.

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  (515): We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it. http://tfl.nu/ayy3
  Replies (6) Good night (518) Bad night (232)

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