i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
