Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess

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(248): absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess http://tfl.nu/and5

Replies (4) Good night (1597) Bad night (545)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

Oh.My.God.

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(405): So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid (1-405): Oh.My.God. http://tfl.nu/b4yo

Replies (32) Good night (881) Bad night (3948)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.

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(608): If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome. http://tfl.nu/khdb

Replies (70) Good night (3937) Bad night (833)
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(301): View more from Maryland

did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.

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(301): did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right. http://tfl.nu/lg5g

Replies (14) Good night (6759) Bad night (1327)
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(954): View more from Florida

Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children

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(954): Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children http://tfl.nu/fl6q

Replies (7) Good night (2390) Bad night (1649)
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(631): View more from New York

So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here

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(631): So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here http://tfl.nu/ydin

Replies (7) Good night (2252) Bad night (703)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

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(519): Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet http://tfl.nu/qweh

Replies (5) Good night (1665) Bad night (744)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.

(419): View more from Ohio

....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.

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(937): I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before. (419): ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return. http://tfl.nu/j7d7

Replies (21) Good night (2350) Bad night (749)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.

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(717): She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl. http://tfl.nu/9cei

Replies (2) Good night (1471) Bad night (595)
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(734): View more from Michigan

But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?

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(734): But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know? http://tfl.nu/qpnv

Replies (14) Good night (725) Bad night (1246)
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(734): View more from Michigan

You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.

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(734): You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence. http://tfl.nu/7y1e

Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (278)
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(443): View more from Maryland

THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS

(1-443): View more from Maryland

excuse me?

(443): View more from Maryland

I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.

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(443): THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS (1-443): excuse me? (443): I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car. http://tfl.nu/t356

Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (498)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.

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(225): All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much. http://tfl.nu/26fo

Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (282)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.

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(573): Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well. http://tfl.nu/36r4

Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (177)
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(850): View more from Florida

My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.

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(850): My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit. http://tfl.nu/fvlm

Replies (0) Good night (313) Bad night (153)

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