Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.

Fav 19 5689 2551
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.

Fav 18 6872 1493
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club

Fav 12 2852 1361
share tweet
(417): View more from Missouri

She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.

Fav 21 4124 1689
share tweet
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(260): View more from Indiana

I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me

Fav 6 1075 3163
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.

Fav 9 3323 1074
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.

Fav 14 3466 1120
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.

Fav 0 876 348
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(740): View more from Ohio

Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.

Fav 1 22 55
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT