In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
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I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
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It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.