It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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