the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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