New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
