Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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