I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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